• Brian Jonestown

Wyatt Sexton Believes FSU’s Quarterback Competition is Wide Open; Escorted Out of Practice

Tallahassee, Fla - Florida State head football coach, Mike Norvell, has publicly stated that the quarterback competition is wide open heading into fall practice. But one former FSU player apparently misunderstood the message — former quarterback Wyatt Sexton.

On Wednesday, Sexton showed up unannounced to Florida State’s closed practice and began participating in team drills. Sexton, dressed in nothing but his now infamous number nineteen jersey, an aging helmet, jeans and purple Crocs trotted onto the practice field smoking a Marlboro Red, and began barking signals to an obviously confused corp of wide receivers.

Wyatt Sexton disrupts a team meeting

Sexton, who has not been an active member of FSU’s football team since 2005, was quickly apprehended and wrestled to the ground by staff members. He was subdued momentarily and could be heard shouting "Mayday! Mayday!" He then requested permission to study film before being forcibly escorted off the premises.

However, Sexton managed to somehow sneak back into the practice facility and began throwing footballs at Jordan Travis and other members of the football team before being arrested by campus police.

Current players, including quarterback James Blackman, were visibly shaken by the intrusion. “Man, it was crazy. One minute we are at practice and the next minute this wild hobo is running on to the field. I would throw a football and he would throw another one from the sideline and knock my ball down. Then, he would scream something like 'Boom, you just got Sexton'ed.'" It was actually kind of scary cause I thought he had a knife or something“ recalled Blackman.

Wyatt Sexton Disrupts Practice

In a recent telephone interview following his release from the Leon County jail, Sexton explained he was simply trying to get “his” in what he understood to be an open quarterback competition. “Coach Norvell told me, well he told everybody, that this would be a fair and wide open competition“ stated Sexton. “I didn’t get a chance to get many reps in the Spring because of Covid so I felt I had a lot of ground to gain.”

When reminded that he is not actually an active member of FSU’s football team, Sexton became agitated and stated that he had been dealt an unfair hand by the coaching staff because of his performance against NC State - a game he says was doomed from the start because he was denied his usual pre-game meal of Pop Tarts covered in Gummi Worms.

“Look, that game, I was off from the beginning because I didn’t eat right and had been fighting with Chris Rix over who was the best Voltron Robot. I said it was the red lion, but Chris, well Chris said it was the girl lion and I’m all you don’t know Voltron, bro and he’s all like you smell like Jim Beam and poverty. What-ev-er.”

It‘s unclear what game Sexton was referencing since his last start against NC State was in 2004. Nonetheless, Sexton remains adamant that the current staff will give him a second chance in the fall. “Listen, I’m just focused on playing good football and showing the coaches I can play at a high level” said Sexton. “I just try to block out the haters — like the fans, the media and the police — that say 'Oh, Wyatt, he's washed up.' Or, 'Oh, Wyatt, he hangs out at the bus station all day and eats newspapers.'"

FSU could not be reached for comment, but one source indicated that Sexton gained entry to practice by stashing himself in the team laundry cart disguised as Warren Thompson’s practice uniform. Sexton then managed to elude security by hiding in the equipment room for two days where sources say they discovered a case of Rolling Rock and a stack of “Juggs” magazines.

For now, it’s unclear what the future will hold for FSU at the quarterback position, but what is certain is that former quarterback Wyatt Sexton will continue to hold on to his dream of once again taking snaps for the garnet and gold.

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